IFS Therapy in Brooklyn

Different parts of you want different things. 

Part of you feels one way, and another part of you feels…very differently. It might be that:

✧ One part of you is always on the go, while another part is tired and longing for rest

✧ A people-pleasing part of you is good at keeping others happy, while another part feels erased in the process

✧ One part of you believes you have to always be fine—and may even insist that you are—while other parts signal that you’re hurting inside

✧ A caretaking part of you anticipates others’ need and meets them, and another part knows you’re overextending yourself. 

Or a familiar part of you feels like it’s running the show.

✧ There might be a part of you that you know well—a socially anxious part, a self-critical part, a people-pleasing part, a controlling or vigilant part—that you feel is getting in your way, and you want a different relationship with it.

✧ That part tends to show up automatically, even in situations where it’s no longer helpful or aligned with what you want now.

These parts of us usually formed for good reasons.

IFS therapy can help you shift your relationship with them, so they don’t run the show.

IFS therapy can help you feel:

✧ Relief from patterns that have felt stuck or hard to shift

✧ Better able to work with your inner voices so they don’t overwhelm you or stay in the driver’s seat

✧ Greater curiosity and compassion toward parts of you that you usually criticize or avoid 

✧ A steadier sense of inner leadership, rather than feeling pulled around internally

IFS therapy is deep and challenging and also grounded in consent, moving at the pace of your system. Rather than trying to eliminate parts of you, we’ll turn inward to get to know your parts with compassion and curiosity, learning about them and the purpose they serve, updating them on who you are now, and getting permission to work with the more vulnerable parts they may be protecting in order to heal old wounds in a lasting way. Over time, IFS therapy helps you connect and develop trust with your core self—the calm, confident, wise center of you that can lead with clarity.

I offer IFS therapy in person in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, and online throughout New York State. If you’d like to learn more about what IFS is and how it works, keep reading, or reach out to start a conversation.

What Is IFS Therapy?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy—often referred to as “parts work”—is an evidence-based therapy that understands each of us as being made up of a system of interacting protective and wounded parts. Instead of seeing inner struggles as flaws, IFS helps us recognize them as parts of us that may be unhelpful or getting in our way now, but have been trying, in their own way, to protect us for important reasons.

These protective patterns can show up in different ways. For example, a self-critical part may be trying to preempt criticism from others to protect a younger, wounded part that received a lot of harsh judgment. A people-pleasing part may be trying to protect a wounded part that is terrified of others’ anger. A part that always insists you’re “fine” may be trying to protect a wounded part that learned that its pain was a burden to others. The specifics are different for everyone. Each of us has our own internal system, and each part has its own unique story to tell about the role it’s been trying to play. 

IFS also holds that each of us has a core Self—compassionate, capable, confident, and wise—that remains unharmed and intact beneath these protective patterns. When your parts aren’t overwhelmed, this Self can lead with clarity, steadiness, and care.

In IFS therapy, we get to know the protective parts of you that often developed years ago to keep you safe but may no longer fit your present life. Instead of trying to get rid of these parts, we build a relationship with them—understanding their concerns, learning about the purpose they serve, and helping them feel safe enough to allow for deeper healing. When we approach protective parts with curiosity and compassion, rather than with judgment or an effort to convince them out of their roles, they tend to soften, making it possible to access and heal the more vulnerable parts they’ve been protecting.

Over time with this work, one can heal deep, emotional pain and gain a sense of steady internal leadership so that your various parts aren’t running the show. To learn more about this modality, you can visit the Internal Family Systems Institute website. But you don’t need to know about IFS to benefit from this work. We’ll simply start with what you’re noticing inside and go from there.

In an IFS session, you may already have a particular part (or parts) of you in mind that you want to work with. Rather than just talking about a part from an intellectual place, I’ll guide you into mindfulness so you can gently focus on that part and notice what other parts show up in relation to it. We’ll work on accessing the calm, grounded energy of the Self so you can begin getting to know the part and hearing its story. It’s common for multiple parts to emerge in this process, and working with any one part often unfolds over more than one session.

You might also come in without a specific part in mind—that’s completely fine. Sometimes we simply slow down, tune into your inner experience or body, and see what naturally arises. We’ll also pay attention to the parts that show up in your day-to-day life or even in session as we’re talking. We’ll practice recognizing when certain parts take over and gently creating some separation from them so you can relate to them rather than be swept up by them. There’s no pressure to do this in any particular way. The work is grounded in consent, curiosity, and respect for your system rather than forcing change.

What to Expect